Day 231 – Incubus – Aqueous Transmission
This August Bank Holiday weekend is the 15th anniversary of my first breakdown – my first experience of suicidal ideation and depression. I remember it for this weekend, as my younger was at Reading festival, back in 2001, where he could sense something was wrong with me from my lack of interest, minimal conversation, and inability to leave my bed, from the days before he left early in the Sunday. I find it hard to forget this event – it began the worst thing imaginable to my life, and a psychological breakdown and trauma that unleashed a biological component of mental illness to my brain that would stay, for what is diagnosed to be, the rest of my life.
This song is one that I played continuously in the 1st years of my illness. Even though it was released a few months after that particular weekend in 2001, I still link this song to that period pf time in my life.
I’m floating down a river
Oars freed from their holes long ago
Lying face up on the floor
Of my vessel
I marvel at the stars
And feel my heart overflow